Every week we must endure it: the dreaded faculty meeting. While some teachers arrive to meetings, shall we say, struggling, others ride in on cloud nine. Chances are you’ve seen the same teacher personalities over and over. There’s those walking in late with coffee or those waiting patiently at their seats 10 minutes early (plus, many more in between). Here are the personalities you can spot at every faculty meeting.
1. The Helium Hand
I know this teacher. Real talk? I am this teacher. This teacher cannot resist volunteering, and they have a hand in every committee and every initiative at the school. Student council? They’re the advisor. Sunshine Committee? Co-chair. Granted, the Helium Hand is kind of obnoxious, but you’ll be glad you have one because they’ll do all the jobs the rest of the staff doesn’t want to do.
2. The Bad Influence
Whatever you do, do not make eye contact with The Bad Influence. This teacher does everything in a staff meeting that they tell their students not to do in class. They make faces, have side conversations, and they’re definitely the reason you’re all getting in trouble for private chats on Zoom.
3. The Worn-out Teacher
The Worn-out Teacher has had a long, tiring day of teaching in person and virtually at the same time, and the last thing they need is an hour of announcements, professional development, and new district initiatives. After this year, we’re all this teacher.
4. The Irritated-at-Everything Teacher
This is the teacher who was done before first period began. This faculty meeting is getting in the way of their favorite show. You will know this teacher by the way they roll their eyes and cross their arms. You will hear the occasional huff or puff from them every time someone asks a question. The Irritated-at-Everything Teacher was over this meeting before it started.
5. The Timely Teacher
The Timely Teacher watches the agenda intently to make sure the meeting stays on task. A meeting that strays keeps us all there for a longer time. Not on The Timely Teacher’s watch! “Okay, back to the original question” is their favorite thing to say. This teacher is not here to waste time.
6. The Wallflower
This teacher flies under the radar most of the time. You’ve probably even asked a coworker, “Is that a new person?” To which they reply, “They’ve been here for five years!” The Wallflower keeps to themselves and rarely talks at staff meetings. They’re a mystery to many but completely harmless.
7. The Fashionably Late Teacher
This is the teacher who forgets there is even a meeting but is clued in when they see multiple teachers walking in the same direction. The Fashionably Late teacher will come into the meeting with coffee (“There was traffic”) or insist they were waiting to be let into the Zoom call the whole time.
8. The Narcissist
This teacher is only interested in things that affect them directly. They’ll often monopolize the conversation at meetings, asking questions that only apply to them. The Narcissist is the embodiment of “it could have been an email.”
9. The Joyful Teacher
In every faculty meeting, there is a teacher who is too happy to be in a faculty meeting. The Joyful Teacher will remind you during third period that there is a meeting. This teacher is always on time and seemingly unconcerned with how long the meeting lasts. They are strangely happy to be there.
10. The Gossip
Everyone knows who this teacher is. They somehow know all the secrets of the school. They often show up to staff meetings early and stay later, befriending new acquaintances and getting the scoop on the latest social news. Do not tell The Gossip a secret. I repeat: Do not tell The Gossip a secret. It will get out.
11. The Paranoid Teacher
This teacher always thinks someone is out to get them. Any time the principal brings up a concern, The Paranoid Teacher thinks the principal is talking about them. Paired with The Gossip, this teacher will never find peace of mind.
12. The Devotee
The Devotee is that teacher that echoes everything the admin says in the meeting. Normally your devotee isn’t the longest- or shortest-tenured teacher either. It’s that teacher who is right in the middle, with five to seven years in the building, probably hoping for one of the APs to leave so they can slide into the vacant position.
13. The Control Freak
Do not get in the way of this teacher. It will not end well for you. The Control Freak likes things done a certain way. They love to organize special events. You might even think they want you to help out and be involved, but don’t be fooled. Just do what The Control Freak says, and there won’t be any problems.
14. The Disruptor
The Disruptor is the class clown of faculty meetings. Cracking jokes to the whole group or just those nearby, this teacher is loved or hated, depending on whom you ask. The Timely Teacher hates that The Disruptor can cause meetings to go long. The Worn-out Teacher often needs to sit next to The Disruptor just to make it through the meeting.
15. The Sleeper
The Sleeper is easy to spot because this teacher fights sleep the whole meeting. They try to play it off by putting their face in one palm, pretending to read, or looking down at the agenda. And working remotely only emboldens The Sleeper, who can then just turn their camera off.
16. The Bum
You might think The Bum and The Sleeper fall into the same category, but they don’t. The Sleeper is tired, barely able to keep their eyes open. The Bum, on the other hand, just doesn’t care. They never write anything down and rarely even know what’s going on. They’re usually charming, though, so most people just let them be.
17. The Questioner
This teacher drives The Irritated-at-Everything Teacher and The Timely Teacher up the wall! The Questioner wants to get all the correct information before they leave. Every time the admin asks, “What questions do you have?” you can feel the room sigh. When The Questioner is at your meeting, it will run long.
18. The Multitasker
The Multitasker is the teacher who is pretending to write notes but is actually grading or writing tomorrow’s lesson plan. This has become even easier to do with virtual meetings. Oh, they may nod and smile, but I guarantee they have 57 tabs open.
19. The Naysayer
This teacher will likely disagree with anyone about anything. No, they don’t have different or better ideas to bring to the table, they just don’t like yours or anyone else’s. This teacher can be a challenge to your patience, but don’t let them get you down.
20. The True Believer
The True Believer is a teacher with passion. They believe in the impact a teacher can have on students, and despite long days and tough conversations, they’re often the ones to remind us of this. Of all teacher personalities, don’t squash the spirit of believers. We need more of them in our lives to remind us again and again why we go to work each day.
For more humorous content like this, be sure to subscribe to our newsletter!
Plus, check out Rotten Things Teachers Do To Ruin Students’ Lives.
